Why Being in Love Means Being a Fool?

Why Being in Love Means Being a Fool?

I’ve been thinking about love lately, not just love but feelings in general. How many times I’ve seen friends being in love and hearing that they are a fool for it? And the more I think about it, the more terrified I become with the conclusion that people are so afraid of feeling something that they rather hurt someone else instead of being vulnerable and be hurt. Even worse: people are so self-centered that they can’t see outside their range.

I’m not talking about guys being jerks, or girls being shallow or none of those typical things you might hear. I’m talking about people in general. About how one person will try everything to grab your attention, while you are after someone else, and that person is after someone else, so we never find an end to that circle.

In a world where girls fight the standards to scream their independence, guys have to learn more and more how to live and share the duties of a home, where people are so “connected” instantly and language barriers are broken, still we seem to drift more and more apart from one another. Why is that?

I feel like people are scared of wanting something. Even if they say “that’s how I want someone”, they might run away when that person comes popping in their lives because they might not be ready for that. Or better yet, they might not be ready to have someone who will have so much power over them, because knowing someone may hurt you is extremely scary. So we close ourselves up in our own world, gathering a list of lovers one right after the other, always having someone to massage our ego, so we don’t have to face the truth that one person might make you feel more than all those others.

We say we want something, but when we find it, we build walls up against it. Doesn’t make sense, right? I’m not saying that we should live like romance books, where all is perfect and love is stronger than anything else. Those things are beautiful for the stories, but they are not real. Those people are not real, and no matter how many flaws a writer can give them, you can’t flush them out of the page.

No. I’m talking about people who will make you happy and laugh, who will disappoint you because you create certain expectations in your head, who will support you and fail you, who will fight you, and, sometimes, who will just be there, with none of these extreme feelings that you encounter in the pages of a novel.

Perhaps you will meet someone who will make you feel differently, and I pray that you have the courage to tell that person how you feel–which most of us lack to do. We just keep pretending that we don’t care until that person walks out of our life.

If not, you might just keep living life like a ghost, just bumping into the next person and the next, to keep pretending that you are strong or wanted.

I’m not saying that we are incomplete without someone else, not by far. I believe we all come to this life as a whole, and we can live, breathe, build a career, follow our dreams all on our own. What I’m saying is, maybe someone could be there with you, cheering you, challenging you, or helping you put your feet on the ground sometimes.

So my wish for you is to be weak and be a fool. But don’t be a fool with closed eyes and guarded heart, because you might miss something or someone who can change your life.

 

Re-learning How to be Creative.

Re-learning How to be Creative.

Ok, so let me ask you something. Creativity is a talent, right?

Nope.

I used to think that too until recently I’ve stumbled upon a course taught here in Brazil by a comedian Entrepreneur, Murilo Gun, who decided it was time to break the traditional thought that some people are creative while others aren’t.

His whole course is based upon the idea that everyone is born creative, but as we grow up, we start getting blocked from the way society makes us behave. We lose that childlike innocent creativity where everything we see is considered input for creative thoughts.

I have been suffering from creative block since I started working in a more traditional logical job, and haven’t been my normal self since then. So, I decided to take a shot at the course to see if it would help me re-learn how to be creative.

The course hasn’t started yet, however, all the “students” already created a group on facebook and on Whatsapp so we could start getting to know each other and share our experiences of the course as we move forward.

For me, just that experience is already worthy enough. Imagine about a hundred people, from different cities, backgrounds, ages, jobs, hobbies, personalities, but all with one goal of re-learning how to be creative? It’s the most incredible experience ever!

Everyone is so funny and interactive, and they all have something different to offer or to teach you that sometimes it’s even hard to keep up. I’ve been having a blast just by knowing all these crazy people just like me and felt as if I was back on the first day of college where everyone was friends with each other and we were all so united. Some of those people are still my friends, and I can only hope to come out with more friends from this new experience.

I have a feeling that they will help me towards my creative path, and that we will all have a great experience together.

So if you are feeling like you need a change, why don’t you try starting a new class somewhere? Something different and unique, with people who have the same goal as you? Get out of your shell and try meeting new people! If you are open minded and respectful of everyone’s differences, you can only come out with more knowledge about human beings and perhaps you can even change your mind about pre-conceived ideas.

Happy Creative thoughts,

Fernanda

 

 

Be who you are.

Be who you are.

I was recently talking to a friend about how after moving away to another country and living by myself, helped me solidify the person that I am.

What happens is, when we grow up, people tend to tell us who we are based on certain reactions, opinions, tastes that we’ve had through that period of time. But most people forget that we keep getting new experiences, new inputs of situations, and we are exposed to different people and places. We are constantly being shaped by those things, and evolving new characteristics to our personality. However, those who always knew us -and who sometimes haven’t changed as much- react negatively to our changes, and say that this isn’t who we are. But who are we, really? Are we supposed to be only one thing during our entire lives?

After reading the novel Paper Towns, by John Green, I was struck by something discussed in the story, the fact that “people are mirrors instead of windows”. My understanding of the idea is that people reflect what others want to see in them, instead of being windows where we can see through them. We reflect what others want from us for so long that when we do become windows, those around us will believe we are not acting like ourselves, even though we couldn’t be truer to who we are.

If any of you has ever had the opportunity of going away from your hometown, family, or old friends, even for just a little while, you probably will understand that when we don’t have people’s expectations, we can shape ourselves to be who we want to be, or to show who, in fact, we really are.

Coming of age usually relates to leaving adolescence and stepping into the adult world. But maybe we are always coming of age. We change and leave things behind all the time. Change is scary, but it can also be exciting. You never know what new things will come into your life because of a new decision you have made.

 

So be who you are, keep changing, because once we stop changing that’s when we stop living.

Up, up we go!

Up, up we go!

I’ve been debating lately whether I should give blogging a chance or not. I’ve decided on the former.

I will use this space to talk about things that intrigue me, or that I love. So be prepared for a lot of posts about traveling, books, writing, cooking and even relationships.

To start I will tell you that due to my work, I end up taking lots and lots of flights per month, besides the ones I take for actual vacations. My best friend even stopped asking me ‘how are you?’ to begin our conversations. Now she asks me: ‘where are you?’ To make a joke of the situation, I started sending her my hellos followed by my location with #whereisfernandaintheworld. That’s where I got the idea for the blog name.

I hope you enjoy reading this blog as much as I enjoy writing it, and that you also share your crazy flying schedule as well as any other subject that may appear on this page.

A fun fact about the featured image in this post: it was from when I took eight flights in only one week. You can imagine endless sleepless nights mashed with waking up early at five in the morning. Even though it was tiring, (and trust me my back feels like a ninety-year-old after that) all the traveling was really fun. I got to meet places like Birmingham, AL, Savannah, GA, and St. Augustine, FL.

Sometimes you need to get out of your comfort zone to discover some amazing things.

Be kind and peace always